The Cadaverman and I went to do some shopping at K-Mart this afternoon. I went to check out the gory Halloween decorations that were offer. Just as you got in the door, off to your right, were three large decorations hanging there – one was a neat ghost, another one was a ghoul, and darned if I can remember what the third one was. On the shelf beneath the hanging decorations, were skulls, eyeballs among other decorations.
I went to the back of the store to see the rest of the Halloween stuff. I bypassed the costumes and pumpkin carving tools and went to the “meat” of the Halloween fare. Gory decorations, bloody hacked off arms, fingers, eyeballs and skulls lined up on the shelf. Then I saw a display of horror movies.
Looking through the DVDs, I picked up Bruce Campbell’s classic “The Evil Dead.” I also found an “Undead” collection – 20 Vampire movies. Some of the titles I already have on DVD, like the 1922 Nosferatru and 1974′s Count Dracula and His Vampire Bride.
So I threw them in my cart and then CadaverMan and I went to check out. I loaded our stuff onto the counter and fished out my credit card and then – - then — the cashier asked me what my birthday was! Why? Because I was attempting to buy a collectiion of vampire movies! I was so flabbergasted, I automatically told her my birthday. But I was astounded! I need to tell my age to buy a bunch of old vampire movies? Old movies that I have already seen and have most on VHS anyway?
Look, I’m a dam senior citizen and will buy f’ing vampire movies whenever I want! While I admit that I don’t look like I’m 60 years old, I certainly don’t look like a 14 year kid either.
What the hell is K-Mart trying to do? Save the world from The Undead? – But – but – the DVD of The Evil Dead didn’t show up as needing to show age for … why the vampire movies? And why any horror movie at all? When K-Mart’s Halloween decorations are pretty dam sick when you think about them. – and Vampire movies? What idiot thought of this rule? I can understand about movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the infamous (and hard to find) 1972′s Mark of the Witch. That one is one sick movie – it was so bad that when it was first run in the theatres – each audience member was given a barf bag! and the TV trailers warned you of that too – so of course my cousin Gail and I had to go see it – while we didn’t throw up, we did agree it was pretty gory.
In reading the back of the DVD case, I see 1960′s Atom-Age Vampire. – roflmao! I remember seeing that one in the theatre when it first came out! I was all of EIGHT YEARS OLD when I saw this. With my stepmother, who bless her heart, was a sci-fi/horror movie buff. Every Friday evening my stepmother took me, my brother and our stepbrother to see the latest sci/fi horror movie. We saw The Cosmic Man, the original Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, The Hypnotic Eye, The Thing That Wouldn’t Die, Invaders from Mars, Creature from the Black Lagoon. As well as seeing all the classics on television.
I seem to recall Saturday afternoons a local tv station would show Frankenstien, The Mummy, The Werewolf and yes, Dracula. As well as all the spin-offs! And all the Japanese monsters: Godzilla, Gamera, and my personal favorite – Rodan!
In the mid 60′a local tv station, Channel 7 had Friday Fright Night – showing all these movies and more – they showed the English productions – Hammer Films of the Peter Cushing as Frankenstein and Christopher Lee as Dracula. As well as The Gorgon, and some Witchy films too.
In the 60′s – my brother, my cousin Gail and I started reading horror comic books – and of course Forrest J. Ackerman’s magazine Famous Monsters of Filmland. And on television – there was The Addams Family and The Munsters.
I have continued my love of horror movies, especially vampire films to the present day, having devoured all of Anne Rice’s vampire novels and loving the film versions of Interview with the Vampire and Queen of the Damned. And I absolutely love The Lost Boys. – I’m not a big fan of Twilight though. Just can’t seem to get into it. Too much glitter for me.
So I have grown up on monster and horror movies. There were only two that ever scared me – King Kong and The Exorcist. I’ve gotten over my fear of The Exorcist – in fact, it is now one of my favorite movies, but I still don’t like King Kong.
I’ve read a lot of Stephen King and gee – I remember one of his vampire stories was a made for TV movie: Salem’s Lot. And Stanley Kubrick’s film of his book The Shining is far more scary than any vampire movie. A story of alchoholism, madness and domestic violence scares me more than any vampire or ghost story. – Because these things are real.
Vampire movies don’t scare me. I love ‘em! I just can’t see why a corporation would want to make their customers give out their birthdate to buy a vampire movie. Fictional entities like vampires do not give me nightmares. I hunt ghosts in real life. Why would I be afraid of fictional characters?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.

oh, I’m really scared of vampires — NOT! – K-Mart – get fucking real!